I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
