That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
