3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
