I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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