Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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