my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
high people should be assigned attendants
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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