Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
