No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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