I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm always down for nudity.
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