Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
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