just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
