I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
