I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
worst night to have a conscience
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
