so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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