D3 body, D1 cock
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
