doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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