If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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