Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
