if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
