there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
