all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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