'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
