Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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