Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
