I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
