she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
