I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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