so that wasnt chicken after all
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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