This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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