So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
