He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
