dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
