If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
