Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
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