I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
