you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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