She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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