So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
