Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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