you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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