I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
