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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
