So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
