all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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