Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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