why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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