maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
