does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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