Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
