just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
