VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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