best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i think im in europe. pls send help
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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